Updated On: March 07, 2024 by   Maha Yassin   Maha Yassin  

As probably one of the most, if not THE most, influential pieces of literature and movie franchise of the 21st century, Harry Potter has captured the hearts and minds of an entire generation. People would stand in line for hours to get their hands on the books as they were released and later do the same to get tickets to see the movies. Harry Potter quotes have shaped a generation, and no matter if you love it or can’t bother with it, you cannot deny its significant effect on our world.

Throughout the years, Harry Potter movies have given us everything! From tear-jerking moments to action sequences to heartfelt moments to our favourite funny laugh-out-loud scenes. Whether you’re a book fan, a movie fan, or a fan of both, there are some lines that you will never forget. We’ve gathered some of our favourite funny Harry Potter quotes from all eight movies for you right here. So let’s revisit some of the funniest scenes this magical franchise has.

Funny Harry Potter Quotes

We’ve got below fifteen funny Harry Potter quotes from different Harry Potter movies said by different characters. If we missed your favourite, please give us a break because there were just too many to choose from, and each one was a masterpiece. So without further ado and with these magical words: “I solemnly swear that I’m up to no good!” we start our adventure!

“Pleasure” – Hermione Granger

When our favourite golden trio meet for the first time in the Hogwarts Express, one of the most hilarious interactions happens between them. Hermoine enters Harry and Ron’s compartment looking for a missing frog and invites herself in. She introduces herself in the most Hermione-like fashion, shaking Harry’s hand and instantly recognising him. 

When Ron also tries introducing himself, she only replies with “Pleasure”, which shows it was definitely anything but! Hermione has no idea who Ron is, and considering her first impression of him was of him trying to do a fake spell, that did not put him on her best side. We bet that young Hermione would have given us a severe side-eye if we told her that Ron is her future husband! LOL

“She needs to sort out her priorities” – Ron Weasley

It’s no secret that Harmione is obsessed with her academic career. From the very first time we meet her on the Hogwarts Express, she’s got her spells figured out and is way ahead of her peers. Someone who spent that much effort even before school started will not want to waste it all away. 

However, when Hermione snapped at Harry and Ron after they almost got attacked by Fluffy, the guard dog, saying: “I’m going to bed before either of you come up with another clever idea to get us killed, or worse, expelled!”, Ron dropped this funny Harry Potter quote! Caring about school is great and all and will take her places, but her life should definitely be a step or two above being a Hogwarts student! Come on, Hermione, get your priorities straight!

“Honestly, woman, you call yourself our mother?” – Fred Weasley

Classic twin behaviour, Fred and George Weasley took immense pleasure in confusing people about which one of them was which. From using it on teachers to using it on their friends, switching sides and taking each other’s names, the twins had endless fun.

However, it takes a unique talent to be able to pull that kind of joke on their own mother! Mrs Weasley actually knew them apart pretty well (she gave birth to them, goddammit!), but they still tried to guilt her into thinking she confused them, which she didn’t! This funny Harry Potter quote was hilarious on screen, coupled with Mrs Wealey’s guilty expression.

“Tell me… What exactly is the function of a rubber duck?” – Mr Weasley

Mr Weasley had quite a big fascination with muggles and their lives. His job at the Ministry of Magic was even to keep track of muggle technology! When he met Harry for the first time in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, Arthur Weasley had a fundamental question to ask Harry, who was raised among muggles: “What is the function of a rubber duck?”

This question might sound weird to the average muggle, but think about it from Arthur’s point of view. What does this very popular object actually do? How do you explain to a wizard that a rubber duck’s whole purpose is to float on the bath water and keep children entertained? It doesn’t actually DO anything. This particular funny Harry Potter quote does make us wonder…

“Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs offer their compliments to Professor Snape and request that he keep his abnormally large nose out of other people’s business.” – The Marauders Map

Not quite a quote, maybe, but Harry read it from the Marauders Map. In Harry’s third year, Fred and George Weasley offer him the use of the Marauders Map. Not knowing who the Marauders were, they found the map as they were loitering in Argus Filch’s office and used it to sneak around ever since.

When Harry opens the map, the following words appear, asking Snape to stay away from what doesn’t belong to him. Apparently, the Marauders, James, Sirius, Lupin and Wormtail, enchanted the map to leave a message to Snape over the years (it says ‘Professor”, so it knows he became one!). Quiet a lasting taunt from our favourite Messers and a pretty funny Harry Potter quote at that!

“I will not have you and the cost of a single evening besmirching that name by behaving like a babbling, bumbling band of baboons” – Professor McGonagall

Professor McGonagall faces typical teenage behaviour while trying to teach the students to dance before the Yule Ball. The students, girls and boys, are not taking this seriously at all and keep laughing and pointing at each other. But Professor McGonagall is not one to be trifled with!

In an attempt to show the students the seriousness of the situation, the Professor drops one of the funniest Harry Potter quotes to date! “Babbling, bumbling, band of baboons” is an instant joke between the students, and Fred and George take it a step further, turning it into a competition to see who can say it faster!

“Traditional? They’re ancient. I look like my great Aunt Tessie. I smell like my great Aunt Tessie.” – Ron Weasley

The night of the Yule Ball, Mrs Wealey sends Ron dressing robes for the event. When he opens the package and tries them on, they’re nothing short of horrible! From the colours to the frills, “traditional” is undoubtedly a choice of words to decide them but not a very accurate one!

Ron complains to Harry that the dress robes make him look like his great Aunt Tessie and even smell like her! We bet she’s the one who made them, to be honest, and it doesn’t look like she likes Ron very much. Ron drops this funny Harry Potter quote with a miserable look that makes the whole situation so funny. Even Harry couldn’t help but laugh!

“One person couldn’t feel all that. They’d explode!” – Ron Weasley

Ron sure is funny, but he is not the most emotionally mature person you could meet. In the fifth movie, when Hermione tries to explain to him that Cho might have cried while kissing Harry because she was overwhelmed with emotions of sadness over Cedric’s death, worry about the danger they’re in and her feelings for Harry at the same time, Ron just doesn’t get it!

His still-growing brain cannot wrap itself around the fact that someone might be experiencing so many emotions and feelings at the same time. He thought that if you felt ALL of this, your head would definitely explode from overload! Hermione, though, has the perfect funny Harry Potter quote and response to Ron: “Just because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon, doesn’t mean we all have.” Savage!

“Obviously.” – Severus Snape

Sometimes the funniest and most savage responses are just one word. Sometimes this one word is all it takes for you to destroy your opponent and make millions of people die laughing! When Dolores Umbridge questioned Professor Snape about his time working in Hogwarts, he had no patience for her antiques. If he must answer her, then one word-answers is all she gets.

Umbridge asks Snape if he was unsuccessful in acquiring the Defense Against the Dark Arts position he always wanted. Since Snape is currently a Potions professor, the answer is a pretty clear no. Snape, though, doesn’t just say no. He gives a deadpan, funny Harry Potter quote response with “Obviously”. One word gets the message across.

“Dumbledore’s Got Style” – Kingsley Shacklebolt

Kinglsey is dropping facts. When the Minister of Magic arrives at Dumbledore’s office along with a group of ministry officials to take the Headmaster to Azkaban, Dumbledore makes a show of escaping. His legendary phoenix Fawkes arrives in an extravagant firey front, and Dumbledore holds onto him and disappears in a smoke show!

With everyone in awe, Kingsley, who had always been an ally of Dumbledore and the Order, drops this funny Harry Potter quote in an attempt to lighten the mood, but the minister doesn’t have it. Being tricked by Dumbdlore once is one thing, but his escaping right in front of you and making a show out of it must have been really humiliating to the ministry. Yicks!

“But I am The Chosen One.” – Harry Potter

Harry has no problem stating the obvious and owning who he is. When it gets him a pretty girl, that is. Harry has always shied away from unwanted attention because it meant people are either in awe of something he has no memory of doing (he was a baby!), giving him pity looks for being an orphan or calling him a liar for saying that Voldemort is back.

However, when he starts to get the attention of Romilda Vane and the other girls in the school during the sixth movie, Harry is ecstatic! Hermione tries to explain to him that they only like him because they think he is the chosen one, and Harry being blunt as ever, says that he is! That earns him a smack in the head, but also, the man is only stating facts, right? One more funny Harry Potter quote from the chosen one.

“Wow, we’re identical!” – Fred and George Weasley

At the beginning of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1, many Order members take part in the plan to get Harry out of London safely and to the Burrow, which was used as a hideout for the Order. To do that, the members all drink Pollyjuice Potion and turn themselves into Harry to confuse the Death Eaters that will surely come after them.

Fred and George are part of that plan, and they both turn into Harry. When they look at each other, in all seriousness, they exclaim that they look exactly alike! Mind you, they’re twins and have ALWAYS looked exactly alike. But having Harry’s body is just another level of likeness, apparently. This funny Harry Potter quote’s delivery makes it all the more hilarious.

“Morning” – George Weasley

Another classic one-word quote from the Harry Potter movies that we will never forget! Harry arrives at the Burrow after an action-filled night,t and the following day, he gets a special present from Ginny. As the two talk and share an intimate kiss in the kitchen, Goerge hilariously interrupts the pair by saying a casual “Morning”.

No one wants to see their sister kissing someone in their kitchen, even if that person is Harry Potter! However, George was very gracious, or as gracious as George can be, and only said this one word and left them be. Add this response to your collection of funny Harry Potter quotes that are only one word long.

“I’ve always wanted to use that spell!” – Professor McGonagall

Professor McGonagall has always been so precious and wonderful throughout the eight movies. And when the time comes to defend Hogwarts against Voldemort and his minions, she’s on the front lines. Professor McGonagall uses the spell “Piertotum Locomotor” to bring all the status in Hogwarts to life so they can protect their school against invaders.

She shows such infectious excitement when she does this spell, explaining that she has always wanted to do it but never had the chance! Her excitement, which for a second makes us see her as a young witch excited about doing a new spell, makes this funny Harry Potter quote one of our favourites!

Mischief Managed

Phew, we made it to the end! This trip down memory lane really made us ready for another Harry Potter movies marathon, don’t you think? These movies are a gold mine of funny quotes, and we bet if we take another look, we can come up with a hundred other funny Harry Potter quotes to make you laugh out loud!

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