Maha Yassin
It has already been four years since the world had to say goodbye to arguably the MCU’s best character to date: Tony Stark, aka Iron Man. From 2008 to 2018, for ten years, Marvel fans worldwide had the best time seeing this character that was never considered popular in the Marvel comics grow into one of the most recognisable fictional characters to ever grace the big screen. Thanks to the incredible Robert Downey Jr and his never-to-be-matched portrayal of Tony Stark/Iron Man, we will remember him as the Earth’s mightiest hero.
However, Tony Stark was Earth’s mightiest hero and the funniest! Since 2008, the mighty Iron Man has been delivering one hilarious line after the other for ten years. Iron Man quotes are everywhere, printed on t-shirts, bags, and hats, painted on walls or used as funny one-liners on social media bios.
You cannot escape Iron Man quotes, and to be honest, why would you want to? They are simply laugh-out-loud hilarious! So if you’re looking for a funny Iron Man quote for whatever reason, we won’t judge; keep reading as we gather the best, the brightest and the funniest ones for you!
Iron Man Quotes
Whether he was delivering these quotes as Tony Stark or as Iron Man, during the middle of a team meeting or in the middle of a fight, Robert Downey Jr had perfect delivery and great timing for dropping jokes. Starting from Iron Man 1 and to Avengers: End Game, here are our favourite Iron Man quotes.
“If you douse me again, and I’m not on fire, I’m donating you to a City College.” – Iron Man 1
One of the funniest relationships in the Iron Man movies, especially in Iron Man 1, is Tony’s relationship with his bots Dum-E and U. Tony created both Dum-E and U when he was a 16-year-old MIT student. Since then, they have acted as his assistants in the lab since Tony doesn’t trust anyone with his creations (or just doesn’t like to work with others, we’ll never know!).
This specific Iron Man quote was told to Dum-E as he had a habit of dousing Tony with water whenever he thought Tony was in danger of setting himself on fire, which happens a lot in Dum-E’s defence! This time though, Tony wasn’t on fire, so he threatened Dum-E to donate him to City College.
“I told you. I don’t want to join your super secret boy band.” – Iron Man 2
Not everyone can go head to head with Nick Fury and live to tell the tale, but Tony Stark did! After months of Nick Fury chasing him around and trying to get into contact with him to no vain, Fury finds Tony lounging on a fake huge doughnut-shaped sign in the middle of a gas station. When he finally succeeds in making Tony in his Iron Man suit come down from the roof, he doesn’t even get to say a word before Tony delivers his hilarious line.
Tony might have created Iron Man to save innocents and defend Earth, but he only wants to do it when it feels good. Joining Shield or being part of a team, aka the Super Secret Boy Band, is not appealing to someone used to working alone. This Iron Man quote is one of the funniest quotes of Iron Man 2!
“‘Mr. Stark displays textbook narcissism’… Agreed.” -Iron Man 2
You can say many things about Tony Stark, but being unaware of his shortcomings is not one of those things! Tony is the first person to point out his flaws, sometimes to a worrying degree. He knows what he is good at and lacks and is not afraid to point it out. Some might call him a genius playboy philanthropist, but he did it first.
This quote was said during Iron Man 2 as Tony met with Nick Fury about The Avengers Initiative. Natasha’s report about Tony called him a narcissist, and Tony wholeheartedly agreed with the note! He knew he was a narcissist, but he was also aware that Fury and Shield still needed his genius to make this Avengers thing work.
“Doth mother know you wear-eth her drapes?” – The Avengers
What a great first line to deliver to the actual God of Thunder! Don’t worry about his destructive hummer or thunder rolling around or the fact that he can kill both Iron Man and Captain America if he wants to, Tony could only see his cape, and that was funny to him!
As Iron Man and Captain America fight Thor in the middle of the forest, not knowing who he is or why he is on Earth, Tony delivers one of Iron Man’s funniest quotes. He refers to Thor flowing cape as drapes and asks him if his mother knows he took her drapes down and wore them as a cape! If Thor knew how to use his thunder, he would have probably blasted Tony right then and there.
“I’m a huge fan of the way you lose control and turn into an enormous green rage monster.” – The Avengers
Everyone can tiptoe around the fact that Bruce Banner can turn into a raging green monster at any second but not Tony Stark! For Tony, Banner’s brains and genius are much more important than his Hulk form. Even his Hulk form interests Tony like any other scientific experiment would; he is not afraid of him or weary of his power; he’s just curious.
When the Avengers are assembled for the first time on Shield’s ship to discuss the threat of Loki, every team member is a little distant and doesn’t know how to interact with each other. Leave it to Tony Stark to break the ice with a cheeky and slightly inappropriate Iron Man quote! Tony tackles the elephant in the room straight on, commenting on Banner’s Hulk form. No need to act like it was not on everyone’s head!
“Better clench up, Legolas.” – The Avengers
Tony’s love language? Nicknames. Throughout all the MCU movies he shows up in, he has a nickname ready for every single character. Even in the middle of battle, Tony doesn’t miss using his nicknames from friends and foes alike. This particular Iron Man quote was said to Hawkeye right as the team was fighting Chitauri aliens in the middle of New York.
Tony has nicknames for almost everyone on the Avengers team. Hawkeye is Legolas, Thor is Point Break, Captain America is Capsicle and Grandpa, Banner is Brucie Bear, and Natasha is Triple Imposter. Even members who join later on get nicknames, especially Peter Parker, who gets Underoos, Spider-Boy, and Spiderling. Villains, too, got the nickname treatment: Ultron is Junior, and Loki is Reindeer Games!
“Which happens, dads leave, no need to be a pussy about it.” – Iron Man 3
This might sound like a mean thing to say to a 12-year-old boy, but Tony has no filter, and Harley took it pretty well. One of the best personal relationships in the Iron Man movies was Tony’s brief relationship with Harley, a kid he met by chance in Texas while chasing a lead during Iron Man 3.
This Iron Man quotes is actually a lot deeper than it looks. Tony has major daddy issues, and when Harley mentions that his dad left his family, Tony can kind of relate to the feelings, but in the classic Tony Stark way, he uses humour as a coping mechanism and jokes about it. It’s a good thing that Harley is just as cheeky and witty as Tony because he takes the joke pretty well and just rolls with it.
“Actually he’s the boss. I just pay for everything and design everything, make everyone look cooler.” – Avengers: Age of Ultron
A functioning team has a guy for everything, and the Avengers are functional; thank you very much! In Avengers Age of Ultron, the Avengers are finally what you can call a team of superheroes. They have been working together for years, and now everyone has their own role in the team and sticks to it. That’s how you build a tremendous super secret boy band.
When Agent Maria Hill calls Tony “Boss” while they are on the Quinjet and he immediately corrects her by saying Captain America is the boss. However, being Tony, this Iron Man quote won’t stop here. He must mention that he is basically bankrolling this entire team while also being the one who designs their cool weapons.
“And for Gosh’s sake, watch your language!” Avengers: Age of Ultron
This is a recurring joke among the Avengers that just gets funnier when Tony Stark, one of the team’s most dirty-mouthed members, says it! At the beginning of Age of Ultron, while the team is fighting some terrorists, Tony uses a swear word causing Steve Rogers to automatically say “Language!” over the comms.
The team, especially Tony, would use this joke to taunt Steve throughout the movie and in movies afterwards. The joke comes from Steve being old and from another time when such use of curse words wasn’t acceptable, and he just can’t help himself. This Iron Man quotes about Cap’s comment is only one of the multiple times Tony would joke about it. He just doesn’t know how to let things go!
“Dude, you’re embarrassing me in front of the wizards.” – Avengers: Infinity War
Leave it to Iron Man to drop a funny quote in the middle of a charged situation. As Tony, Bruce, Dr Strange and Wong face the Thanos’ aliens, Bruce tries to turn into the Hulk but to no avail. Tony fake whispers this line to him, trying to lighten the mood as usual.
Tony and Bruce have a great relationship throughout the Avengers movies. Being the brainiacs of the team, they get each other on a level the others don’t. In this particular scene, Tony needed Bruce’s Hulk form to help them take out the aliens, but once he saw Bruce struggling, he asked Wong to take him to safety. This scene in Avengers: Infinity War has some of Iron Man’s best quotes, including “Get lost, Squidward!”.
Bonus Quote: “I love you 3000.” – Avengers: Endgame
Technically, this quote was not said by Tony but to him. The Iron Man quote that stuck with people and will probably be used forever is Morgan’s love declaration to Tony: “I love you 3000”. This quote has been used nonstop by Iron Man and MCU fans all over the world to show their love for the characters. In fact, if you check out the comment section of any of Robert Downey Jr’s Instagram posts since then, half the comments are just fans quoting him.
For Morgan, the number 3000 was the biggest number she could think of when her dad asked her how much she loved him. Tony being himself, had to go and taunt Pepper about how he got a bigger number than her, which means Morgan loves him more. “I love you 3000” was her way of telling Tony that her love is infinite and the way for the writer to say to the audience that Morgan will never forget Tony. Later, this quote became the fans’ chant and a unique way of telling Tony and RDJ that they would be loved forever.
Marvel succeeded in taking on their comic lesser-known characters and making him the most beloved superhero worldwide. They built their entire cinematic universe around him, and he proved to be capable of leading this world for ten years. Iron Man quotes will forever be cemented in people’s minds as some of the most iconic and funny quotes in superhero movies, and they will never lose their charm.
No matter how many years pass by without Iron Man on our screens, as Tony would say, he “will always be Iron Man”.